{"id":55636,"date":"2022-12-07T12:29:00","date_gmt":"2022-12-07T12:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/?p=55636"},"modified":"2024-02-02T08:21:10","modified_gmt":"2024-02-02T18:21:10","slug":"mindfulness-and-how-to-be-a-good-friend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/mindfulness\/mindfulness-and-how-to-be-a-good-friend\/","title":{"rendered":"Mindfulness and how to be a good friend"},"content":{"rendered":"<section  class=\"container container--large article-container\">\n            <div class=\"article\">\n            <div class=\"article__sidebar\">\n                <div class=\"sidebar-inner-section author\">\n                    <div class=\"author__avatar\">\n                                                                                                            <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/02\/author-emma-hudson-200x172.jpeg\"\n     srcset=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/02\/author-emma-hudson-50x43.jpeg 360w,\n             https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/02\/author-emma-hudson-100x86.jpeg 768w,\n             https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/02\/author-emma-hudson-200x172.jpeg 1440w,\n             https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/02\/author-emma-hudson-400x345.jpeg 2000w\"\n     alt=\"\" \n     \/>                                            <\/div>\n                    <span class=\"sidebar-sub-title\">Written By<\/span>\n                    <a class=\"u-text-underline\" href=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/authors\/emma-hudson\/\" title=\"Emma Hudson, MSc Bio\">\n                        <h5 class=\"author__author\">Emma Hudson, MSc<\/h5>\n                    <\/a>\n                                                        <\/div>\n                                                    <div class=\"sidebar-inner-section\">\n                        <span class=\"sidebar-sub-title\">Reviewed by<\/span>\n                        <a href=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/authors\/paul-baker\/\" title=\"Paul Baker, BSc (Hons) Bio\">\n                            <p class=\"sidebar-content\">Paul Baker, BSc (Hons)<\/p>\n                        <\/a>\n                    <\/div>\n                                <div class=\"sidebar-inner-section\">\n                    <span class=\"sidebar-sub-title\">Published<\/span>\n                                        <p class=\"sidebar-content\">07 December 2022<\/p>\n                <\/div>\n                                    <div class=\"sidebar-inner-section\">\n                        <span class=\"sidebar-sub-title\">Issues<\/span>\n                        <div class=\"article-categories\">\n                                                                                                <a class=\"article-category\" href=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/articles\/addictions\/mindfulness\/\">Mindfulness<\/a>\n                                                                                                                                                <\/div>\n                    <\/div>\n                                                    <div class=\"sidebar-inner-section\">\n                        <span class=\"sidebar-sub-title\">Topics<\/span>\n                        <div class=\"article-categories\">\n                                                                                                                                                            <a class=\"article-category\" href=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/articles\/addictions\/mindfulness\/mindfulness-advice\/\">Mindfulness Advice<\/a>\n                                                                                    <\/div>\n                    <\/div>\n                                <div class=\"sidebar-inner-section\">\n                    <span class=\"sidebar-sub-title\">Share this article<\/span>\n                    <ul class=\"social-list\">\n            <li class=\"social-list__item\">\n            <a class=\"social-list__item-link\"\n               href=\"\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/mindfulness\/mindfulness-and-how-to-be-a-good-friend\/\"\n               onclick=\"window.open(this.href, 'share popup','left=20,top=20,width=500,height=360,toolbar=1,resizable=0'); return false;\"\n               rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\"\n               target=\"_blank\">\n                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/themes\/allen-carr\/public\/dist\/svgs\/social-facebook-fill.svg\" alt=\"Share to Allen Carr's Easyway Facebook\"\/>\n            <\/a>\n        <\/li>\n                <li class=\"social-list__item\">\n            <a class=\"social-list__item-link\"\n               href=\"\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?url=https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/mindfulness\/mindfulness-and-how-to-be-a-good-friend\/&#038;text=Mindfulness and how to be a good friend\"\n               onclick=\"window.open(this.href, 'share popup','left=20,top=20,width=500,height=360,toolbar=1,resizable=0'); return false;\"\n               rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\"\n               target=\"_blank\">\n                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/themes\/allen-carr\/public\/dist\/svgs\/social-twitter-fill.svg\" alt=\"Share to Allen Carr's Easyway Facebook\"\/>\n            <\/a>\n        <\/li>\n        \n            <li class=\"social-list__item\">\n            <a class=\"social-list__item-link\"\n               href=\"\/\/www.linkedin.com\/shareArticle?mini=true&#038;url=https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/mindfulness\/mindfulness-and-how-to-be-a-good-friend\/&#038;title=Mindfulness and how to be a good friend\"\n               onclick=\"window.open(this.href, 'share popup','left=20,top=20,width=500,height=360,toolbar=1,resizable=0'); return false;\"\n               rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\"\n               target=\"_blank\">\n                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/themes\/allen-carr\/public\/dist\/svgs\/social-linkedin-fill.svg\" alt=\"Share to Allen Carr's Easyway Facebook\"\/>\n            <\/a>\n        <\/li>\n        \n    <li class=\"social-list__item\">\n        <a class=\"social-list__item-link\"\n            href=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/mindfulness\/mindfulness-and-how-to-be-a-good-friend\/\"\n            data-behaviour=\"copy-link\">\n            <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/themes\/allen-carr\/public\/dist\/svgs\/social-sharelink-fill.svg\" alt=\"Share to Allen Carr's Easyway Facebook\"\/>\n        <\/a>\n    <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n                <\/div>\n\n                            <\/div>\n            <div class=\"article__content\">\n                <h1 class=\"article__title\">Mindfulness and how to be a good friend<\/h1>\n\n                \n                                                    <p class=\"article__excerpt\">How can\u00a0mindfulness\u00a0help us and help others?<\/p>\n                \n                                    <div class=\"article__image\">\n                                                                        <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/06\/Mindfulness-in-lockdown-chelsea-gates-n8L1VYaypcw-unsplash-2048x1365-1-880x587.jpeg\"\n     srcset=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/06\/Mindfulness-in-lockdown-chelsea-gates-n8L1VYaypcw-unsplash-2048x1365-1-220x147.jpeg 360w,\n             https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/06\/Mindfulness-in-lockdown-chelsea-gates-n8L1VYaypcw-unsplash-2048x1365-1-440x293.jpeg 768w,\n             https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/06\/Mindfulness-in-lockdown-chelsea-gates-n8L1VYaypcw-unsplash-2048x1365-1-880x587.jpeg 1440w,\n             https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/06\/Mindfulness-in-lockdown-chelsea-gates-n8L1VYaypcw-unsplash-2048x1365-1-1760x1173.jpeg 2000w\"\n     alt=\"\" \n     \/>\n                                            <\/div>\n                \n                <div class=\"u-show-mobile article-social-bar\">\n                    <span class=\"sidebar-sub-title\">Share this article<\/span>\n                    <ul class=\"social-list\">\n            <li class=\"social-list__item\">\n            <a class=\"social-list__item-link\"\n               href=\"\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/mindfulness\/mindfulness-and-how-to-be-a-good-friend\/\"\n               onclick=\"window.open(this.href, 'share popup','left=20,top=20,width=500,height=360,toolbar=1,resizable=0'); return false;\"\n               rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\"\n               target=\"_blank\">\n                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/themes\/allen-carr\/public\/dist\/svgs\/social-facebook-fill.svg\" alt=\"Share to Allen Carr's Easyway Facebook\"\/>\n            <\/a>\n        <\/li>\n                <li class=\"social-list__item\">\n            <a class=\"social-list__item-link\"\n               href=\"\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?url=https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/mindfulness\/mindfulness-and-how-to-be-a-good-friend\/&#038;text=Mindfulness and how to be a good friend\"\n               onclick=\"window.open(this.href, 'share popup','left=20,top=20,width=500,height=360,toolbar=1,resizable=0'); return false;\"\n               rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\"\n               target=\"_blank\">\n                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/themes\/allen-carr\/public\/dist\/svgs\/social-twitter-fill.svg\" alt=\"Share to Allen Carr's Easyway Facebook\"\/>\n            <\/a>\n        <\/li>\n        \n            <li class=\"social-list__item\">\n            <a class=\"social-list__item-link\"\n               href=\"\/\/www.linkedin.com\/shareArticle?mini=true&#038;url=https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/mindfulness\/mindfulness-and-how-to-be-a-good-friend\/&#038;title=Mindfulness and how to be a good friend\"\n               onclick=\"window.open(this.href, 'share popup','left=20,top=20,width=500,height=360,toolbar=1,resizable=0'); return false;\"\n               rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\"\n               target=\"_blank\">\n                <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/themes\/allen-carr\/public\/dist\/svgs\/social-linkedin-fill.svg\" alt=\"Share to Allen Carr's Easyway Facebook\"\/>\n            <\/a>\n        <\/li>\n        \n    <li class=\"social-list__item\">\n        <a class=\"social-list__item-link\"\n            href=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/mindfulness\/mindfulness-and-how-to-be-a-good-friend\/\"\n            data-behaviour=\"copy-link\">\n            <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/wp-content\/themes\/allen-carr\/public\/dist\/svgs\/social-sharelink-fill.svg\" alt=\"Share to Allen Carr's Easyway Facebook\"\/>\n        <\/a>\n    <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n                <\/div>\n\n                \n                \n                \n                \n<section class=\"formatted-text \">\n\t<div class=\"container container--large\">\n\t\t<h2><strong>How to be a good friend using mindfulness techniques:<\/strong><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h3><strong>Be a good listener<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Try not to be thinking about what you are going to say in return \u2013 rather listen to how they feel<\/li>\n<li>\n<h3><strong>Reflect what they have said<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>This will help them feel heard. You could begin the conversation with \u2018what I just heard was \u2026\u2019 \u2018Am I right in thinking this is how you feel?\u2019<\/li>\n<li>\n<h3><strong>Do not try and fix their problem<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Rather validate how they feel using helpful expressions such as \u2018I can\u2019t imagine how this must feel for you ..but it sounds awful\u2019 or \u2018you are right to feel sad.. it\u2019s a very sad situation\u2019 \u2018your loss is huge \u2026you are perfectly within your rights to feel angry.\u2019<\/li>\n<li>\n<h3><strong>Try to not begin your reply with \u2018At least.\u2019<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>This could sound as if their suffering is not being validated.<\/li>\n<li>\n<h3><strong>Don\u2019t talk about your suffering<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Try your very best not to bring the attention to your suffering \u2026 e.g., \u2018Oh! When that happened to me, I felt this way \u2026.\u2019 It can be helpful for you to let them know you have experienced similar loss\u2026however try to let the attention remain on them.<\/li>\n<li>\n<h3><strong>When they cry<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>If someone cries, try using mindfulness ..so you are not tempted to say: \u2018Aw don\u2019t worry \u2026 it will be okay.\u2019 Try and sit with them as they cry. Use mindfulness to not say anything. This can be much more powerful than \u2018Don\u2019t cry .. it will be fine.\u2019<\/li>\n<li>\n<h3><strong>Monitor the conversation mindfully<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>That way you know when it is appropriate to offer constructive help. It can be helpful to not dive in immediately with suggestions that you may believe will \u2018make them feel better.\u2019<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>One of the most common anxieties people can feel when they are experiencing loss, is a feeling of not being heard. A good friend will be the friend who made you feel heard. Mindfulness can help us practice being a good friend. It is not always about offering good advice, finding a solution, or fixing the problem \u2013 it is often just about being there \u2013 validating their suffering.<br \/>\n<a class=\"button red hvr top_margin\" href=\"\/mindfulness\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Learn more about our Mindfulness seminars<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a class=\"button red hvr top_margin\" href=\"\/mindfulness\/mindfulness-meditation\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">What is Mindfulness?<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/section>\n\n\n            <\/div>\n        <\/div>\n    <\/section>\n\n    <section class=\"related-articles u-background-white article-related-articles\">\n                \n                            \n                \n        <h3 class=\"related-articles__title u-text-center\">\n            Up next&#8230;\n        <\/h3>\n\n        <div class=\"container related-articles__container\">\n                                                                            <div 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joined by Cris Hay and Chrissie Hynde\n            <\/div>\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n                                                                            <div class=\"article-preview article-preview--standard_altern u-hover-state\">\n    <div class=\"article-preview__columns article-preview__columns--standard_altern\">\n        <div class=\"article-preview__column article-preview__column--standard_altern\">\n            <a href=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/podcasts\/podcast-8\/\" alt=\"article url\">\n                <div class=\"article-preview__image-wrap u-image-absolute\">\n                                                                                            <img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/allen-carr-live.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/11\/17002809\/ACE-Addiction-Central-e1667563420958.png\"\n     srcset=\"https:\/\/allen-carr-live.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/11\/17002809\/ACE-Addiction-Central-e1667563420958.png 360w,\n             https:\/\/allen-carr-live.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/11\/17002809\/ACE-Addiction-Central-e1667563420958.png 768w,\n             https:\/\/allen-carr-live.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/11\/17002809\/ACE-Addiction-Central-e1667563420958.png 1440w,\n             https:\/\/allen-carr-live.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2022\/11\/17002809\/ACE-Addiction-Central-e1667563420958.png 2000w\"\n     alt=\"\" \n     \/>                                    <\/div>\n            <\/a>\n        <\/div>\n\n        <div class=\"article-preview__column article-preview__column--standard_altern\">\n            <div class=\"article-preview__post-info article-preview__post-info--standard_altern\">\n                <div class=\"article-preview__taxonomy-terms\">\n                                    <\/div>\n\n                <div class=\"article-preview__date-wrap\">\n                    <span>\n                        June 2023\n                    <\/span>\n                <\/div>\n            <\/div>\n\n            <div class=\"article-preview__title-wrap\">\n                <a href=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/en-us\/podcasts\/podcast-8\/\" alt=\"article url\">\n                    <h3 class=\"article-preview__title\">\n                        Podcast 8\n                    <\/h3>\n                <\/a>\n            <\/div>\n\n            <div class=\"article-preview__description-wrap\">\n                The show is hosted by Colleen Dwyer, a senior Allen Carr\u2019s Easyway therapist who is joined by Sir Richard Branson &#038; Monique Douglas\n            <\/div>\n        <\/div>\n    <\/div>\n<\/div>\n                    <\/div>\n    <\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How can\u00a0mindfulness\u00a0help us and help others?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":55638,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[462,593],"tags":[],"addiction":[26],"country":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Mindfulness and how to be a good friend - Allen Carr US<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.allencarr.com\/mindfulness\/mindfulness-and-how-to-be-a-good-friend\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" 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